*S e a r c h i n g...`With H O P E~

2010-08-31T23:40:00.003+08:00

I'm going to abandon here and start blogging using TUMBLR=( It's easier to blog as it has an application itself for iphone! So I guess it gives me no excuses not to update! HAHA!

My new URL is http://hyworld.tumblr.com =)

2010-08-29T17:08:00.002+08:00

I believe so=)

Please don't break it..

2010-08-29T01:48:00.003+08:00

Beautiful Sunset scenery, I'm TOTALLY IN LOVE with it=)

2010-08-29T01:31:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I don't understand why some pple got to scold vulgarities at every single thing that went wrong.. Like very very small things? It sounds totally TOTALLY -.-! It just shows that you are getting pekchek so so EASILY, impatient and what so ever.. SUPER IRRITATING!

And mind you, STOP raising your voice at me.. shouting or what so ever just cos you get pekchek easily when you don't even know what is going on blah blah.. PLEASE STOP IT! You won't want me to get nasty back at you.. Cos if I want to, I can be TWICE as bad as you.. Learn to CONTROL!

2010-08-18T23:21:00.003+08:00

Not feeling good at all the whole of today.
Headache Headache Headache=(

Is it cos I have been having sleepless nights? Cos I'm too stress from work? Cos I skipped my lunch today? Cos I'm feeling moody? Cos I feel weird? or what?

HAIZ! I HATE HEADACHES!=(

What is wrong with me?

I think it's because I miss you=(

2010-08-16T22:56:00.003+08:00

It is the actions that count.

Do things from your heart and not for the sick of showing it.

2010-08-14T18:27:00.001+08:00

I think I'm getting back to blogging..
It's the only way I can get all my emotions out even if no one wishes to listen to me..

It has been 2 months since i last blogged, 2 months and it happened again..
The fourth time.

I can't believe how time passes and pple tends to forgive, forget and everything all over again.
Am I just too soft hearted, too stupid, too naive or what?

It is so so hard to build up trust once again.. And when I thought everything is fine and could last for long.. It strikes again.. My heart dropped.. Each time worser and worser..

I really feel like giving up this time round esp when you don't seem to feel that you are in any wrong at all.. I'm struggling.. What should I do? What should I do? I can't bear to let go yet I don't want to suffer anymore.. You have no idea how badly it hurts.. Cos you have never got to feel this way.. this way that you are treating me.

What have I done to deserve all these? Can you please tell me? Have I not done good enough?

How am I going to stop thinking when these all matters to me.. alot. I'm scared but I got to hide? I'm badly hurt but I got to act as if nothing happens? To forgive you once again? Telling you once again that I don't like pple to lie to me? Asking you to promise me again? Waiting for time to pass again and then everything starts happening again and again?

How many times you need to lie to know, to understand what I am feeling, what I am going through?

How to trust when you are not giving me the chance to trust?

I'm hurt.
And I guess I will just have to accept the truth that no one, nothing can be trusted.
All I can do now is to pretend..
nothing has happened.

2010-06-16T20:58:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!!!=))

Quote from }{ and my conversation last night..
Me: Where is the moon? How come suddenly it is gone!!!
}{: In my heart..
Me: HUH???
}{: 月亮代表我的心ma!!!^^
Me: Smile=))

}{! Love you lots!!! MUACK!=))

2010-06-13T12:54:00.002+08:00

What a F-UP day.. =(

Hate it hate it hate it..

2010-06-13T01:03:00.003+08:00

刚刚看了画皮在电视上播出，
不知道为什么突然间会有那么大的反应。。

是不是所有的男人都那么的花心？

那么容易就可以把身边的妻子或女朋友忘了，
爱上一个刚刚认识的陌生女子？

那么多年的感情难道说忘就忘了吗？

还是别想太多。。

信任最重要。

2010-06-08T21:11:00.001+08:00

Things are getting better these few days=)
I hope we stay like this for long=)
Loves!=)

2010-06-03T23:22:00.002+08:00

My insecurities are making me insane=(
I don't wish to be like that at all=(

I need time=(

2010-06-02T22:30:00.002+08:00

Perhaps,
this is the only way,
the only choice that I have left..

That is to pretend like nothing happened
& just put on a fake smile..

As long as you are happy,
I will be happy..

My only hope is that you will take your words seriously of what you have promise promise me this time=)

2010-05-31T20:33:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling super disappointed and super hurt.
No one will understand how I'm feeling now.

Don't you feel guilty at all when you lied to me?
It is not about the things that you lied to me,
not about who else that you lied to as well..
but the fact that you lied to me=(

Not once, not twice but thrice,
and maybe more that wasn't told and I'm still being kept in the dark..

I'm feeling so so so insecure now..
I won't know what to believe and what not to believe.
Because my trust has been taken for granted too many time,
and now I don't dare to trust anymore..

All these are giving me terrible headaches..
I feel like I'm losing hope, losing everything..

Can you guys just fucking leave him alone?

2010-05-30T23:31:00.004+08:00

I have no idea why.. but i went back reading.. reading about the past..
And I get myself all upset now.. =(
Why is it so that I just can't simply let this bad memories go and stop thinking about them?
It's just so hard..
Perhaps, I'm worried.. worried that everything will happen once again..
ARGHHH!!! It's just so hard not to think about it..

What's wrong with me?=(

2010-05-30T01:41:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, it is just so hard not to think about things that you are worried about.

}{! Please please get well soon. Don't want to hear you cough till so jialat and keep having random fever at nights=( It's already worrying enough to just look at your wounds.. Really really hope that they will all recover soon=) Drink more warm water and don't eat heaty food ok? And and must MUST eat medicine! See you eat until so xinku but that's the only way to get well!!! And also to rest more whenever you can! Don't always think of going out for now ok? Wait till you fully recover, I will accompany you to places you wish to go, movies you wish to watch, food you wish to eat and things you wish to do=)) Jiayou! *hugs* LOVES! < 3

2010-05-26T22:54:00.003+08:00

Now that everything comes together..

I AM JUST A FUCKING FOOL.

All taken for granted, how am I going to build up this trust again?

I tried so so so hard to keep you accompanied when I'm worried that you would be bored without these 'friends'.. I tried my very best to plan outing to east coast for cycling, steamboats, playing pool, bday celebration etc.. spending all the time I have to keep you occupied and not feel bored.. but u were not contented at all for what I have done.. AND u took it ALL for granted and LIED to me AGAIN.. I wonder HOW MANY TIMES do you need this to be repeated again and again to realise that you are not learning from your MISTAKES.

What's the point of saying sorry all the times when you already know that what you are going to do is going to hurt me? What is that for? For you to feel better? Or for me to feel better for just that moment with me not knowing that you are going to hurt me again?

So am I suppose to thanks this accident that you finally know how to think? or thanks those 'things' out there for helping me to save you from another round of 'deeper shit'? Or maybe I'm saying all these just way too early? more to come? Haa!

I really have no idea to laugh at myself or cry to make myself feel better now..
I have not even settled down from the previous one and now another round of SHIT to worry abt.. How great..

I'm fucking going to have another night of nightmare..

ANGEL VS DEVIL
Devil on me at this moment of time..
I'm so FUCKING tired..

2010-05-23T13:24:00.002+08:00

My heart dropped when I heard the news..
I thought it was a prank at first because i believed in you, i trusted you..

Again.. I have been treated like a fool..
the last to know everything again..
I'm really really really disappointed..
You took my trust for granted..

I'm having mixed feeling now..
It hurts me alot alot when I see you lying there and I could do NOTHING..
It hurts me even more that I knew nothing and couldn't stop you from going..
Cos maybe at least there is chance that none of this would have happened..
But I thought again, would it even change your mind if I have insisted that you can't go?

but what's the point of saying all these now?

I just pray that you are going to be totally fine..
Please get well soon=(

And to you, fucking go to hell. I HATE YOU!

2010-05-22T00:03:00.002+08:00

The day that I don't want the most is coming.. soon..

I'm worried, but what can I do?=(

You lead your own life, make your own decision..
I can only give advices to guide you..
If you have choosen not to listen or don't understand my thinking, there is nothing I can do to make you change your mind..
Except to hope and pray that nothing will go wrong in the decision you have made..

Please I beg you to re-consider..

2010-01-24T23:21:00.002+08:00

YEP! Today was a perfect day! HEE!

Shall upload the details and photos tml!

LALALA~

LOVES YOU, HONEY!!! ^_^

2010-01-24T00:54:00.001+08:00

24th is LOVE!!!^_^

HAPPY 2ND YEAR!!!

Tomorrow is going to be a great day! LALALA~~

2010-01-20T21:35:00.003+08:00

If it is a 'I don't know' or 'I can't remember' answer,
then I would rather believe in my own eyes,
believe in what I have seen.

Maybe I shouldn't be so forgiving all the time.
How come it seems like all these while, I'm the only one feeling hurt and broken?

Where has the ME last time gone to?
How can this 'scary' thing make me changed so much?

I'm starting to think twice of what I have mentioned in my previous post..

How scary can love be...

2010-01-19T23:37:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling really down now..
Did i handle it wrongly again or.. ?
I have no idea at all.
Why is it so that some pple can scold the hell out of someone and after that treat it as nothing ever happen and acts normal again.
It's just so hard for me to accept the words that come out from your mouth.
Every hurtful word just make my heart broke into smaller and smaller pieces.
I don't like it when pple scold vulgar or say horrible things to me. I hate it.
Why all the reactions and emotions that I'm having now?
What's wrong with me again?

Maybe it was all because I just felt scared..
It is a kind of feeling that I don't know how to explain in words.

But one thing I know for sure..

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU AGAIN.

2010-01-19T22:56:00.003+08:00

Haiz, I don't understand..

Why is it again that just a simple why? a simple question can cause so much trouble again?

I believe every things have a reason to it..

It can't be just a 'I just feel this way..' or even worse answer of 'I don't know..'

These are just excuses and ways to avoid answering the question directly.

If you don't feel like telling me why or giving a answer, then I would rather you say I don't wish to say..

ARGHHH! I f***ing don't understand how some pple think=(

2010-01-17T00:55:00.002+08:00

WEEE~! It was Jigsaw Puzzle day today! HEH!

}{ and I was working on this puzzle just now..

And we are more than half way done. Finished with all the small mickey mouses and only left with the Big Mickey Mouse and the white parts!=)) Took many pictures of the puzzles with }{'s phone again!=))
}{, please send me the photos SOOOONNNN!!! So long liao! BLAAAHHHH~!!!

And and.. I having a craving for Tom Yam Noodles now! ESP the one that }{ cooked for me today! So NICE! YUM YUM~~
Thank you, }{!=))

I'm off to play my facebook games le, if not dunno what time then can slp again! HAHA!

Goodnights, swtdreams!^_^
LOVES }{ONEY!!!=P

2010-01-15T00:10:00.005+08:00

Finally after more than a month, we are back to dance class today!!!
Warm up was really bad!! I felt really stiff, I think too long never exercise le! HAHA!
I couldn't catch up with the dance steps and I feel like my hands and legs are going to tangle up anytime!=X
Anyway, we danced to the song called 'Black and Gold'=)

And I still enjoyed dancing! LALALA~ =)

Ohh and yes! Me and my sis is considering to open up our own online shop!
Selling accessories, handmade cards blah blah.. WEEE!
But we are still in the process of thinking of what to name our shop! HAHA!
Any suggestions? HEE!

This shall be one of my new year resolution!
To open an online shop, maintain it and then maybe having our little business outside on a push cart or something like that! It's gonna be so FUN!^^
But firstly, I need the capital and determination!!! HEH!
JIAYOUSSSS!!!=)

}{! I'm looking forward to tomorrow and Saturday! WOOHOO!^_^

2010-01-10T23:31:00.002+08:00

Went shopping today with }{ at Town! & I bought like 3 new tops! spent alot of money today=X HAHA!

Had chicken rice for lunch at Far East, walked to ION, Wisma, Taka, Somerset 313, Orchard Central and then to Plaza Sing and watched the Treasure Hunter! Tiring but had a great time with }{=)) HEE!

Photos are all in his phone again! So }{, please send me soon so that I can upload!!! BLAAHH!=P

Anyway, we watched the Treasure Hunter by Jielun and Lin Zhi Ling! I was like quite excited over watching this movie beforehand cos it's by one of my FAV idol.. but I'm sorry to say.. it ain't that good=X Maybe it is just cos Avatar is far too nice! HAHA!=X

OHH and..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to GUO AN AND YANGYUE!!!=))
May all your dreams come true! Stay happy and healthy!^^

I guess it's another 4 days of havoc for us (me, my bro, my sis and maid)! HAHA! cos my parents are out of town=X Hope they are having fun now and enjoying the cooling weather! & of cos, have a safe trip!=))

}{=) I enjoyed myself so much today! HEE! although you are like so tired and leg pain.. but I really very touched when u asked me to sit on bus & u just stood beside me the whole bus journey home! Thankyou }{! Love you! MUACKZZ!!!^_^

2010-01-09T17:35:00.006+08:00

Avatar 3D was really NICE!!!

watched it with }{ last night! If you haven't catch it, do go watch! it's definitely worth the money! HEE!=))

first week of the year working was -.-! HAHA!

I think i'm like still in the holiday mood or something and so many of the paperwork kept going wrong and I'm adding more work to my already flooding pending work! BLAAAHHH!=(

Hopefully next week is gonna turn out better!=)

Anyway's I'm here to upload photos taken last Saturday! Caleb's 3rd birthday celebration at their new house! The Pinnacle@Duxton!=) The new apartment that is 50 storey high with a garden at it's roof top! They are staying on the 37 floor and the sceneries from there are already WOW!^^

night view from 37 floor!

me and sis!

My sis was having a great time in the kid's playroom! HAHA!=P

Night view taken with different camera mode

View of the building taken from ground floor

Me and sis having fun with the balloons! HAHA!

The birthday boy busy 'fishing'! hahaha!

Night View from the roof top! 50th storey!! Really WOW WOW!

Loves=))

More beautiful sceneries!! Too bad I didn't have a really pro camera if not i'm sure the photos would be so so much nicer!

enjoying the sceneries on the rooftop!

WEEE!

Bro on the big 'spaceship' looked alike saucer! HEH!

Will upload photos taken yesterday another day cos photos are all in }{'s phone! }{ send me the photos soon, please!!!=))

Loves }{<3

2010-01-02T00:29:00.006+08:00

WELCOME 2010!!! WOOHOO!!!=))
A brand new year for a brand new start!

Last day of 2009 was great! I spent it with my dearest cousins as usual! Dinner together at Seoul Garden! Initially we wanted to eat steamboat but we were late and all the steamboat stalls are too crowded and we decided to give up queueing and just head to Bugis Junction to search for food=) Sorry Ah Hui & Ah Soon, make you guys wait for so long!=X

There was 7 of us in total (suppose to be 9 though but 2 decided to celebrate with their girlfriends) - My bro, Zhikai, Liyun, Ah soon, Ah hui, my sis and me=))

The Girls=))

2nd photo=))

With my baobei sis!

With Liyun!=))

With Ah Hui!=))

While eating! I forgotten to take group photos and pics of the guys!=X

After eating, we headed straight to Zhikai's house to stay over! We girls watched tv and chatted for so much till almost 5am then we went to bed! haha! woke up the next day at 11am plus and we had Mac's big breakfast for our brunch bought by my 伯母! =)) After that, we played abit of majong and our parents and relatives started coming at ard 2pm plus as we ordered BUFFET for dinner!=)) The atmosphere and everything made it felt like Chinese New Year! HAHA! I'm really glad to have such close cousins and relatives!!! ^_^

Tomorrow gonna be another busy day! celebrating Caleb's (my cousin's son) bday!!!=))

Shall go rest early, still feeling kinda tired from the lack of sleep this few days! HEH!

Goodnights and sweetdreams!!!

I felt really hurt hearing those words from them. I would have burst out crying if I didn't manage my feelings well at that moment. Lucky I did. But they ain't wrong saying that. Suddenly I felt all these while I'm being so... Haiz. I don't know how to explain what I am feeling now. Just feeling really really bad and sad. I'm really sorry. =(

}{ - Sorry that I couldn't accompany you this few days and made you feel so bored!=X Hopefully this Sun ok? HEE! Muack=))

2009-12-31T00:30:00.000+08:00

I couldn't get to sleep...

I need you=(

2009-12-30T20:01:00.002+08:00

=(

I cried once during my appraisal with my boss. I can't believe that I actually cried in front of my boss. I just couldn't control my emotions anymore. After that when I wanted to find someone to talk to..

Haiz, I don't really wish to talk abt it in details but..

I cried (again) when I saw that word.
Out of anger or just simply.. he meant it?
I have no idea and my mind just went blank.
Sometimes, I really don't understand how that word can be said so easily?
Is it really so bad that that word had to be mentioned?
I'm feeling really tired.

Hurt totally.
I'm feeling lost again..

2009-12-29T22:52:00.003+08:00

Haiz! Today is a no good day.

First is ____, next ____ and then ____.

I'm going to slp early to end the day fast.

Goodnight.

2009-12-28T23:58:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BRO!!!

MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!!!

STAY HAPPY AND HEALTHY ALWAYS!!!

WE LOVE YOU!!!=))

2009-12-26T22:45:00.016+08:00

Finally I'm back blogging! HEH!=))

Shall start my post from last Sun with photos - 20th Dec'09..

Met up with my sis at Suntec City after her work to shop for Christmas presents! & }{ came in the evening to join us for dinner at Astons and continued shopping! Really tired from all the walking and shopping esp when that place is like so so crowded! Lucky, my parents came to fetch us home after their wedding dinner=) Some photos taken that day..

With sis and }{!^_^

The food we ordered at Astons! YUM!

Arrival of Jielun in Singapore! - 22nd Dec'09

Early morning at 745am, }{ accompanied me to cab to T2 to see Jielun's arrival in Changi airport! WOOHOO! We reached airport at near 845am and Jielun came out at ard 930am=) I was like super excited and }{ must be thinking that I'm crazy!!!

But he seems kinda tired from the flight and promo here and there that he was quite dao.. but still, I'm happy happy to see him after so long! and I managed to take a few shots of Ling Zhi Ling..

Everything happened in like maybe less than 1 min?=X esp Jielun walked like super fast to the van! haha! & i think }{ went -.-!!! Super funny! & so I dropped my intial idea of chasing to the hotel and went to Mac to have our breakfast when }{ said he was hungry!=X

Thank you }{ for accompanying me to airport early in the morning! HEH!=))

After that, we took train to Douby Ghaut and we had a good nap on the way. HAHA! it was only 11am plus when we reached Plaza Sing and there was already a crowd queueing up in front of the stage! Jielun is only coming at 7pm! so }{ and I decided to catch a movie 'The bodyguards and Assassin' as we still got a long way to go. I thought the movie was quite nice but sad ending=( Then, we went Pizza hut to have our lunch! 2 set meals and 6 pieces of spicy drumlets! I think both of us are in love with their drumlets! HAHA! After filling up our stomach, it was already 4 plus and so we walked ard to find nice spots to stand before Jielun arrive. We stood at somewhere in 2nd level.. quite far but at least, it is the center view.

The stage.

=))

Less than an hour before the arrival of Jielun and the place is flooded with so so many fans!!!

And FINALLY!!!

all the above photos were screencapped from my videos. too far to take clear photos=(

Just before the event ended, we chiong to taxi stand to get cab and we were really lucky to chase behind their van to their next destination-Vivo city to walk the red carpet and movie premiere! Forget to mention that my sis and cousin-Ah Hui had joined us during the PS event! We were really lucky cause we managed to follow the van until the carpark area & see them alighting from the van! there was like no fans there except for us!!! super HIGH! we followed behind them on the escalator up 2 levels and we went crazy when I shouted 'Jielun' and he turned back to smile and wave to us!!! Super OMG!!! but it was a pity that none of us caught the video/image of that.. After which, he went to walked the red carpet blah blah and Vivo was like even more crowded than PS i think.. We couldn't make our way through properly and we decided to give up and just go back to the carpark to wait for him to be back and see him for the last time. So while waiting, we camwhored=)

4 of us!=))

The crazy girls!!! haha!=P

The van that Jielun sat in! 8778~ Huat ahh!!!=X

We waited for almost 2 hours i think and there was no sight of him at all.. in the end, we thought he might have left earlier on from some where else so we decided to give up and go home since it was rather late already.. kinda regretted waiting downstairs.. but still it was alright la although quite sianz diao but I'm happy enough to have seen him after so long! esp the part that he smiled and waved at us!=)) Really hope he comes back to Singapore soon! and I can't wait for his concert next year in July! WEEE!^^

&& I must really thanks my }{ for accompanying me for the whole day!=))

and next is Christmas Eve aka monthiversary! 24th Dec'09=))

After work, went home first for lunch and then go out again to meet Linhui to go Huikeng's house for a short meetup! Although it was a really short meetup like 1 hour plus only but I'm sure we all enjoyed the catching up=)) Meetup again real soon=))

Then I went to meet up with }{ to taka's Sushi Tei for dinner=)

The food was yum yum!=))

Took many many shots with the Christmas Tree at Taka! Beautiful=))

I love RED!!!

Cute snow man!

I'm totally in love with the Christmas tree outside Paragon!! So so nice!!!

COOL~

And we walked to Robinsons's Hagen Das to have our supper dessert! WEEE! I love chocolate ice cream! haha! & I just realised that Club 21 staff can enjoy a discount of 25% at Hagen Das!=))

}{ insisted that his name is on the menu.. -.-! HAHA!

Reached home really late that night! and my cousins Ah Hui and Liyun stayed over my house after going out with my sis to celebrate Xmas! We all used com, chit-chat till almost 7am then slp! HAHA! slept till 1pm+ on Christmas day and we slacked at home! Mum bought this cake to celebrate christmas! so cute!=))

Had dinner at Fajar together and after that send both my cousins home and we returned home! so, this is how I spent my Christmas day! HEE!

Ok and finally, these are photos of presents from me and to me!=))

Things I bought for my colleagues and friends!

The really cute and look like my sis girl diary for my baobei sis!

The presents I have received!

Earpiece from my dearest }{ cos my iphone earpiece spoilt! WEEE=)

And I felt really bad cos I have not gotten a present for }{=X I am gonna make it up! Sorry }{!

Ohh, && did I mentioned that we have finished up with the Jigsaw puzzle which was half done? And so it looked like this=))

And here's the photo of the 2000 pieces Jigsaw which I wanted to get and hang in my living room! Really nice!!!

Wah!!! such a long post!!! I'm feeling tired already!=X HAHA!

Shall go rest soon!

Goodnights, Swtdreams!=))

}{<3

2009-12-23T01:26:00.002+08:00

I am having POST JIELUN CRAZE NOW!!! Hahaha!=P

Jielun was WOOOO~~~!!!

Today was really tiring but I am still happy happy that I saw Jielun after so long! HEE!

Shall blog abt it and upload photos tml! WEEE!

Tired tired now and tml got to work=(

Goodnights, swtdreams!
}{, i know i already said like one zillion times! But i'm still gonna say thanks for accompanying me today for like almost 15 hours! && most importantly, nv bu shuang at all! HAHA! XIE XIE!=)) Muack! LOVES!!!^^

2009-12-22T00:40:00.002+08:00

Super excited that Jielun is coming tml!!!=))

But why so early in the morning? 9AM!!!
I still thought of slping longer! Blaaahhh!

And this time round, I feel so lost! So lack of info and everything got to plan so last min... like only now! OHMAN!

Really thanks }{ for accompanying me tml to airport! Hope you won't get too bored! haha!=X
And my sis and cousin is gonna join us later for the event! WOOHOO!

Got to wake up at 630am tml! Shall go rest now!

Goodnights, Swtdreams!!!
Muack Honey!^_^

2009-12-21T02:16:00.002+08:00

Ohman! I'm soo busy and tired!

Just had a day of shopping for Christmas presents today with my sis and }{!!=))
Super tiring + FUN! HEH!=))

Gonna be really busy this coming week!!!
But I'm super looking forward to everything! WOOHOO!!!
& weeee! }{ just promised me that he will accompany me to go see Jielun! HAPPY!=))
Thanks, }{^^

Ok, a really short post!
Shall go rest now if not, I will be like panda tml for work. HAHA!

Goodnights, swtdreams!!!=))

2009-12-19T17:57:00.003+08:00

I hate the feeling of being alone.=(

I was on the bus home at around 415pm and was thinking to myself if I would get the chance to see you driving. So I started looking out for L plate cars. It was maybe not even 1 minute and... Yes, I saw you. Wearing black/white top in a red car and the car plate no was something 1161 i think.. Fated? I was amazed again.

Suddenly all the unhappiness that I was having seems to disappear..

HAIZ!=(
}{, I'm feeling super =( now. Where are you. =(

2009-12-19T01:31:00.003+08:00

I don't feel good=(

Anyway, today was a really busy and tiring day..
Walked like so many places, here and there, esp with the wrong shoes made me feel like dying! toes super painful=(

In the end, got to help out at Wisma for sales event till abt 7 plus then met up with Kat first as Ting got last min work to finish up. Everywhere is super crowded today! We queued like 30-45 mins+ for a Japanese restaurant at ION. Ordered food and almost finishing then Ting end work and travelled down from Raffles Place. By the time she reached was almost 930pm! We wait for her to finish her main dish and ordered dessert. And we left the restaurant at ard 1030pm.. After that, went to walk around some of the shops which are like going to close.. haha! & home sweet home.. Really had lots of catching up! Meet up again soon=)

I hate the feeling of not being trusted. Esp when all that I said are the truth and pple just ask questions in doubt like as if you have done something wrong or hiding something. I totally dislike this kind of feeling. So I have chosen not to explain too much as I'm too tired and not in the mood to at all. Furthermore, I have already made my promise and I will definitely stick to it this time round. You can decide whether to believe/trust me or not. As long as I know that I have done nothing wrong and have nothing to hide. That is enough.

----------

I thought about this in the morning on my way to work..

Have you ever help someone & end up suffering yourself? Is it worth it? If you see someone suffering, would you go forward to help? Have you considered before?

If you choose to help, you might end up suffering yourself. Some people might praise you for that whilst some might just scold you for being stupid enough to make yourself suffer for the good will of others.
If you choose otherwise, you feel bad seeing someone else suffering. Some pple might say that you are bad while some might just think that it is alright as long as you don't harm yourself by helping others.
What if something you are going to help is by giving away something that you have waited for long and can't bear to forgo?

So.. Would you choose to be an angel, help others and suffer yourself? OR to be devil, ignore and keep yourself save from all the hastle?

It's so complicating huh..
Why does human needs to have so much emotions?

2009-12-18T00:35:00.003+08:00

After work, meet up with }{ was =))

Tomorrow after work, will be meeting Kat and Ting for dinner! Quite some time since I last see them! Looking forward=))
And after that, maybe gonna meet up with }{ again! WEE^^

----------

Sometimes I wonder how amazing it can be when you are thinking of someone or something and started typing message halfway.. suddenly you might just receive a message that answers to the question which you have not even sent out!
Have you ever encounter this before?

心有灵犀 or what? HAHA!

If it's once, it might be just coincidental.. but what if it's for quite a few times already and everytime also so qiao!
And, sometimes it might make you smile stupidly at the phone yourself! HAHA!
like what happened to me today=X

Kinda scary huh, but amazing at the same time=))
This makes me wonder more.....
}{, are you really the one?=P

2009-12-16T22:58:00.003+08:00

Tempting! -.-!!!

My friends make me super tempted to go see FLH today!
OHMAN! Dadong and Yalun! >.<
They were here since ytd afternoon and will be departing tml..
Alamak! Why they come during weekdays this time round!
And I can't make it to see them at all!=(
Super wrong timing!
Anyway, heard from my friend that Yalun is very sick and even need to go hospital ytd.
Hope he is alright already!=)
Shall look forward to the next time then!

So now I'm like super excited that Jielun is coming soon. HAHA!=X
}{, don't be jealous hor! HEE!=P

I'm gonna be so so soooo busy starting from tml!!!
WOOHOO!

2009-12-15T23:57:00.004+08:00

Today I felt something really sweet and touched=)

It was raining,
You came, holding an umbrella with you.
Under the same shelter,
you held me tight and close to you.
That's is what I call..
Love<3
Thanks }{=))

2009-12-14T23:29:00.000+08:00

WEEE!!!=))

A tiring shopping day! haha!=P
my post shall be short and sweet... HEH!

Went Jurong Point today with }{!
Ate Thai express for lunch and i guess we will not eat there anymore.=X
}{ ate the chicken laksa and I ate Phat thai talay...
They both tasted really bad. TSK!
But the tofu square is still quite ok..

And after that, went to walk around abit before our movie=)
We watched the Storm Warriors!
I thought it was not bad but I don't really like the ending.
Maybe it is another continuous story..
so abit.. -.-! HAHA!

and then, we went to 'explore' the whole of Jurong Point. HAHA!
I needed to get presents for Christmas etc..
In the end, I only managed to buy some of them and I still got many more to go..

Both of us were super tired and hungry from all the walking blah blah!
Esp poor }{=X Sorry }{, make you walk here and there so many times! haha!
Thank you for accompanying me! HEE!=P

We had Tori Q Bento for dinner=)
and after that, was home sweet home!^^

Shall go rest now, tml work=(
JIAYOUSSS!

OHH, my sis is having her exams now! All the best and good luck to her exams! GAMBATTEH GIRL!=))
}{, enjoy your holidays but don't slp too late every night! MUACK=))

2009-12-14T00:22:00.005+08:00

*phew* lucky everything went out fine at the end of the day=))

So, here's pictures of the Jigsaw Puzzles and frames we bought!

all these cost us $206.60!!!

Upclose of the puzzles!

1000 pcs puzzle! Mickey! I think this one is really COOL~!

500 pcs puzzle! with all the different disney characters! & this puzzle glows in the dark^^

And, we started with the 500 pcs puzzle today...

started doing at ard 930pm!=X

i was trying my best to put the corners together while }{ was trying to do the mickey mouse in the center of the picture...

& finally, don't know how much time i took to finish up with the corners!=)

after 1 hr+...

and after 2 hrs.. our eyes went 0.O!!! HAHA! cos the light and reflection is making the puzzle even harder to complete! couldn't see the pieces properly.. =X and i got to go home already..

So it was left half way done and we gonna continue tml!=)

I'm so HAPPY cos I'm off from work tml and I can slp till later! HEE!

But I'm feeling tired, shall go rest now.

Goodnights, swtdreams!=))

}{, I'm sorry for what happened today.=X Tml is going to be a better day, right? HEH! Loves<3

2009-12-13T15:25:00.005+08:00

Why just a simple 'haiz' can cause so much problems?
I don't understand.
sometimes I'm really confused with the things that pple can get pissed off at.
are they necessary?
or would it be better to just let it easy and get a good result out of it?

i thought it was supposed to be a happy weekend?
i should be happily doing puzzle at this moment.
now everything is ruin.
I'm just too good in ruining things.
great. perfect. nice one.

I'm so damn fucked up now.

2009-12-12T14:13:00.003+08:00

OhhGossshhhh!!!

Last night, }{ and me spent $300+ altogether!!!=X
$35 on dinner at The Ship, almost $50 on art & craft stuff (or rather stickers only), $200+ on Jigsaw Puzzles! and about $15 on cab home! Burned in the pocket sia!!!=P

In order to get the lifelong membership card at Jigsaw Puzzle World, we had to exceed $200 in a single receipt or spend $500 in 6 months. So of cos we thought $200 in a single receipt is better than spending like $500 before getting the membership! So, we had a hard time deciding on which puzzles to get cos they are all so nice! Esp the Disney characters ones! So in the end, we bought one 1000 pcs puzzle, one 500 pcs puzzle, two 204 pcs small puzzle and 2 frames which added up to $206.60!!!=))

I can't wait to start working on them!! hopefully later in the day or tomorrow!!! WEEE~!

Ohh and I'm eyeing on this puzzle which has nice scenery with a house! really beautiful!!! I think it would be nice if I were to hang it up in my living room!=) It's a 2000 pcs puzzle and it costs about $90, together with the frame, it would add up to about $200. Ex but I hope I can get it in my next purchase! HEE!=))

Ok, shall post photos of the puzzles we bought next time!!!^^

2009-12-10T23:20:00.002+08:00

Finally went for dance class today=)

Danced to 'Turn it up' by Paris Hilton. Fast and tiring!
Was already tired from work, didn't had dinner due to work and I felt like fainting during the warm ups! haha! too long nv exercise le!=X *phew*

But still, I enjoyed dancing=))

Maybe sometimes I am overly hoping or wishing for certain things to happen like how I want it to be or how I am thinking.. which always end up hurting myself or bringing myself to more disappointment that are unnecessary.. ohman! how to stop myself from this kind of thinking?? =( I always can't handle these kind of issues well.. feeling so helpless now...! Blaaahhh!!!=(

Putting this aside, I can't wait for work to end tml! and I can ENJOY the weekends!!! WOOHOO!!! Super looking forward! }{, hor? HEE!=))

Need to do abit of work now and shall go rest early!
Goodnights!!!=))
}{! Muack^_^

2009-12-09T22:32:00.002+08:00

I HATE _______! F***-ing Idiot!!!=X
Made me pissed off for nothing. Irritatingssss!!!

Anyway, in the end, I didn't go for my haircut. HAHA!
Decided to wait for it to grow longer first since long hair is what I want now=)

Ohman! And Jielun's schedule to SGP has changed! Alamak!
make me so confused now and my sis maybe got things on that day=(
hopefully she still can make it to go with me.
Prayssss!!!

}{ is having his last paper tml. Hopefully everything is gonna go well! Jiayou=)
And after that will be Holssss for }{! Happy ahh you!=P

I'm happy too! Cos confirm taking leave on coming Mon! WOOHOO!^^
But can't take Tue as I will be taking the H1N1 vaccination in office sponsored by company.
Injection again!=( So, shall change my leave to another day.. still pending, thinking of which day to take=)

Arghhh! FB is so lag now.. Haiyossss!!! HAHA!
I'm so random!=X
Ohhohh, 海派甜心 by Rainie Yang and Show Luo is really nice!
I just watched episode 6 and I can't wait for the next one!!! HEH=)

Alrights, what a random post!=X
Byyyeeeeessssss! <3
}{, I miss you! I can't wait for Friday, weekends and next Monday to come! Hee!^_^

2009-12-07T23:23:00.003+08:00

Weekend was GREAT!=))

BUT today work was SIANZ!-.-!!! So so so many things need to do and I have to 'fight' alone!=(
I need to take a break soon!!! Hopefully next Mon and Tue if nothing goes wrong, I'm going to take leave and enjoy! I'm already planning~ =))

}{ is like so stressed up over exams now! JIAYOU }{!=) You can do it!=) Chiong 3 more days and you are done! Holidays coming your way~! GoodLuck!!!^^

Andand, I'm going for a haircut tml.. HAHA! Like so out of a sudden=X
Just want to trim alittle, cos my hair looks like 'za cao' now, esp the ends! CMI!!!
Hopefully it is going to turn out not too short cos I want nice long hair during CNY! Heh!

I have got so many things need to plan now. Many thoughts running through my mind. To do this or to do that? Yes, No or Maybe? ARGGHH! I'm really bad in making decision and I'm always so lag. It is time to really make one NOW.
But.. I have so many questions, who can I look up to and ask advice from?
Hmmm...
}{, you can help me? how how how? what am i going to do?

2009-12-04T00:04:00.002+08:00

Supposed to go for dance class today after missing class for 2 weeks consecutively.
But my dad's car battery went flat when we were at Ngee Ann Poly to pick up my sis. HAHA!
At that moment, both me and my sis sianz diao and got no mood to go dance already. My dad still keep asking us to hurry go take cab. Haha! Then I told them, actually I don't feel like going today cos very tired. But I was thinking like so long nv go le so.. and in the end, really zhu ding don't need go. =X

So.. we waited for the repair person to come and it took him like more than 1 hr cos he was at Ubi!!! After he finally reached, he took another half an hour to change the batt blah blah.. Then, we went Bukit Timah's food court to eat and by the time we reached home, it is about the time we end dance class and reach home. HAHA! so equal tiring now. =X

Anyway, finally tomorrow is going to be the last day in warehouse to return the stocks from my isetan sales. Hopefully can finish early. HEH! And then, me and Sha will be going to East Coast chalet!! My colleagues booked one and we gonna have BBQ tml night! It's gonna be FUN tomorrow! I am super looking forward to it!!! ESP... =))

Shall go rest now! Goodnights, swtdreams!!=))
wormy!!!^_^

2009-12-02T21:30:00.005+08:00

I'm feeling super sucky now.

Work today was bad enough.
I had no one to complain to and have to keep everything to myself.
Bottled up and I can't take it anymore.
Not in the mood for anything at all.
Even what I was looking forward to.
And...
Argghhhh!

If you have nothing better to say to make me feel better, I would very much appreciate if you could just keep quiet.
If I were to slower my walking pace, it just meant that I wanted to spend more time with you.
If you were to pick up a fight with me, I rather we didn't meet or talk.
If you were going to break your promises, then just don't make one in the first place.
If you can't even make a decision yourself, don't ask me to do it.
I have no idea as well.
Fuck, what's wrong with me=(

2009-11-30T23:09:00.002+08:00

I'm getting really tired from work and I feel like I'm going to collapse anytime soon.
How I wish I can just disappear for awhile and pple will start to know the importance of me and stop taking things for granted. When I'm back, they will cherish me with all their heart. HAA! But I guess this will never happen?

All these are like causing me to have -.- mood during weekdays esp during the working hours. If pple happen to see me smiling during these times, most slightly they are ALL FAKE.

So all the times, I'm just looking forward to after work or the weekends. Because those are the times that I really smile truefully with my heart.=)

Sometimes it hurts very much when what you have done are not being appreciated. =(
Or maybe, it doesn't matter at all...
As long as you know that all that you have done are what you really enjoy and most importantly right from the bottom of your heart.
That is good enough. =)
I'm sorry, }{<3

2009-11-29T16:05:00.001+08:00

Woohoo! Slacking at home today, at the same time to relax and rest at home before the start of another work week. Got to be in warehouse maybe the whole of next week to transfer the stocks from the sales event back to warehouse stocks. JIAYOU JIAYOU!

I'm here to post about yesterday and upload photos taken of the past week.

Yesterday, met up with }{ and headed to town and I saw my cousin, Liyun while on the way walking to Cine. HAHA! like so long nv see her le, was kinda excited. So coincidence!=))

Went Cine to buy tickets for night movie 'New Moon' first.

Then walked over to Orchard Central to shop. Many many shops over there and we saw Taoze having his autograph session there and like so little fans only=X In the end, we didn't finish walking as }{ was hungry. HAHA! So we went over to the Cathay to eat...

Astons specialities serve mainly western food and their price range is reasonable and affordable. Most importantly, the food there is really GOOD! Some more has no service and GST charges! Andand, I was too 'ganchiong' to eat the food that I forgotten to take photos of them. HAHA! So do go check it out if you still haven't!=))

After dinner, we walked over to Plaza Sing for awhile and I got SOOO OMG OMG when I saw this... even }{ thought I was crazy=X

YES YES! Jielun is coming to Singapore SOON! WOOO~

Ok, enough of my craziness!=X After which, we walked back to Cine and had our movie 'New Moon' the continuation of 'Twilight'. I thought the movie was great but the continuous ending, made everyone in the threatre abit sianz diao.. HAHA! but of cos, it makes me look forward to part 3!!=))

And then, it was HOME SWEET HOME=))

And here's to upload the photos of KBuffet at Marina Square on the 24th Nov'09!!^^

Getting alittle CRAZZZYY=X

Loves<3

And this is the photo taken of the short outing with my sis to Suntec City on the 27th Nov'09=))

Yeah! And I'm done with my post!=))

Gonna meet }{ for dinner later. Lalala~

2009-11-29T01:46:00.002+08:00

It was great today! except for... -.-! haha! don't wish to talk about it.

I'm feeling tired now already.

Should post and upload photos tml=))

Goodnights!!!^^
}{<3

2009-11-27T23:19:00.003+08:00

What is happening now?

I don't understand at all.

I didn't even suspect anything at all.

And I'm being treated this way now.

It hurts.

2009-11-27T04:00:00.000+08:00

It's already 4am and I'm still using facebook and blogging!
Like what my parents like to say about me.. Wonderwoman!=X HAA!

But seriously speaking, I am really tired blah blah.. but i just can't get myself to bed and I have no idea why. I'm not thinking much about anything and actually there is nothing much I need to worry or think about except for the cold war that I'm having now. Most slightly I have just made it worse.=(

Probably I'm just too addicted to facebook. HAHA!

I shall go rest like NOW! before }{ $#%!^#%$ me AGAIN!=X

&& I got the whole of tml to rest at home! like FINALLY!=))

Goodnights and Swtdreams!^_^

}{, I must say I love it this way now! Getting to meet you whenever we are free which is like almost everyday=X and I'm still not having enough of it. HAHA!=P Just want to say, thanks for everything }{! LOVES! MUACK!^^

2009-11-25T23:41:00.003+08:00

Finally, tomorrow is going to be the last day for my sales event at Isetan Scotts.
Got to do pack up tomorrow and hopefully it's going to be fast so that I can go off earlier.

I can't wait for this Friday to come cos it is public holiday and finally I can really rest and enjoy for this weekend.
I'm feeling so tired and body aching here and there.=(

When is this cold war going to end?
I dislike having cold war. I dislike this feeling.
I'm already feeling stress and tired enough from work and now this.
Can this please end like now now now.
I don't want it to be this way at all.
Argggghhhhh=(

}{, I'm feeling sad now. HAIZ=(

2009-11-25T01:05:00.003+08:00

Indeed it is a happy happy day today and I have enjoyed myself lotsss!!!=))
Thankyou }{!<3

After work, }{ came to meet me and we took bus to Marina Square and went for K Buffet!!!
Super long since I last sang! WOOHOO! & this time round, I feel that }{ sang more than me! hahaha! That's good!=))

Supposed to wait for my sis to end work at 1030pm and go home together.
In the end, she ended early at ard 9pm and so she came to meet us at K!
We had FUN, I must say! Super HIGH!!! HEH!!!=X
And we left at ard 1130pm. HAHA!

Took quite a few photos, shall upload tml here or facebook=))
Too tired and lazy now! BLAAAHHHHH!=P

Time to rest now if not, I will be a dead 'man' walking around tml.. haha!
Esp that I have to work at my sales event till 9plus tml-.-!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MY HONEY!!! 22 months le! Hope we stay loving like what you said!=)) I love you! MUACK MUACK^_^

2009-11-24T00:00:00.001+08:00

24th!!! ^_^

Yeah! It's gonna be a happy day tml!=)) Super looking forward to after work! HEH!

Goodnights!!!=))

}{! It's 1 out of 22 months! HAHA! Loves!!! <333

2009-11-23T00:44:00.003+08:00

Laughter is the best medicine!^_^

I was really tired at work today, super sleepy and my eyes are super heavy.

Lucky I only need to work till 430pm.

}{ came to meet me and we went to Marina Square and Suntec, walked and shopped around alittle while waiting for my sis to end work at 8pm and to eat dinner together.

Don't really wish to mention about the waiting time.

I think I'm like too tired or something and I very easy pekchek. HAHA! poor }{, sorry!=X

But during dinner and on the way home was FUN FUN FUN! We like doing silly things and laughed non-stop! }{ keep saying things to make us laugh!-.-! HAHAHA!

And after that was home sweet home=))

Tml will be back office to clear pending paperworks and sure gonna be busybusy! Hopefully I can clear them smooth and fast! JIAYOU!

Feeling tired now already, shall go rest! >.<

<33

2009-11-22T00:56:00.006+08:00

Today, work was quite fun, filled with laughter.
Many interesting and funny things happened and I did enjoyed though it was tiring.
Time passed quite fast.
At least this stops me from thinking about things which I don't wish to think too much.

It was really really sweet of }{ to get food for me and surprise me even though he was out with his friend. Touched! THANK YOU }{!^_^

But bus journey home was -.-!
Surrounded with couples and pple with their friends around, chatting and laughing etc.
& the feeling of being all alone was =(
How I wished you were there with me.

And, I don't know what I was too engrossed thinking about that I almost didn't get down at my bus stop! HAHA! Silly me=X

Anyway, I got to work in the morning shift tml.. got to wake up early on a sunday morning.
I better catch my slp like now before some one kb me again! hahaha!=X

Goodnights and swtdreams!=)) }{ <3

2009-11-21T04:36:00.003+08:00

Today is just not my day, I'm feeling super no good.

Sometimes when you think that you are doing something which you think is good for someone, that someone might not think that it is something good but think otherwise.

It might be different thinkings, but it is the same heart/feeling of just simply wanting the person which you care and love to be happy and good in your own way. So it is not so bad after all right.

Different thinkings might bring miscommunication, conflicts etc. But this is when being more understanding and more communications are needed to clear everything. This is something that we have to work on when dealing with such problems.

But it is alright, as from here, we will learn from it, gain experience, understand more, build up even stronger for the better=)

}{, I'm sorry! Lucky everything turn out fine at the end of the day^^ *muack*

2009-11-20T01:48:00.004+08:00

AHHHH!!!

I know it is super late now and I still haven't slp!=X
}{ is so gonna kill me! I just finished playing my FB games.. HAHA!=P

My body is aching from the set up today. 7 hours of set up! 4pm to 11pm! OHMAN! super tiring and I think I sprained my back or something. Now walk or little movement also will have sharp pain. Even when I'm sitting down now, I can feel the suan-ness! -.-!!!

Lucky, tml I'm going office first to clear some of my paperwork and then back to the sales event to help out! Hopefully my back is not going to ache too much. Pray Hard!=X

Super looking forward to tml night=)) Going to Grace's bday BBQ party at East Coast! So long since I last met her and the rest!!! Will try to take more photos and post up! Happy Birthday my dear!=))

Ok, I think I better go rest like NOW! If not, }{ is seriously gonna 'humtam' me tml=X HAHA!

OHH! Thanks }{ for accompanying me for din-per just now! Even when you are tired, need to wake up at 6am and got test tml!=X APPRECIATED! <33

2009-11-18T23:20:00.003+08:00

OHMAN! I'm like super addicted to facebook games!=X

after work, reach home.. first thing is on laptop and sign in FB!
And start playing all the FB games, have dinner, back to FB-ing till almost 12am as I need to rest alittle earlier due to work the next day. If not, most slightly I won't go slp and will FB till my eyes can't take it anymore then I will gan yuan go slp. HAHAHA!

But }{ is even worst, though he slp earlier than me, but he is like playing more than 10 games at one go. CRAAAZZZZYYYYY!!!=P

Anyway, Tml is the set up for my sales event at Isetan Scotts. Have to jiayou sia, sure gonna be super tired after set up tml. Need to rest early again. And I doubt I will have time to blog these few days once the sales event starts. Hopefully I can. Heh!

Goodnights! Swtdreams=)) }{<3

2009-11-17T23:47:00.004+08:00

I'm feeling so tired from work.
So many shipments coming in soon, upcoming sales events, having to handle supplier, buyer, warehouse and promoters concurrently just drive me crazy at times.=X

Sometimes, how I wished I had more time to finish up the pending work.
But thinking that work is never-ending, I just hope my working hours are shorter.
Cos I will never get to finish them up even if I had more time. HAHA!
So contradicting right?!?!=X

At times like this when I get flooded with overloading work, I will start thinking if it is time I should go back studying, taking up a new course etc.. Hmmm..

I am considering...

Anyway, I'm gonna be more busy soon due to our sales event at Isetan Scotts Level 4 starting from this Friday to next Thursday. Had to help out in set up before the event, as promoter during the event and pack up after the event. OHMAN!

Putting this aside, do come and support if you have the time=)

Ok, i think i need to rest more before this Thursday's set up and as promised to }{ to slp early.. =X

Goodnights!=)

2009-11-15T19:11:00.006+08:00

I have decided to come back blogging=))

As I was thinking I need this to help me remember moments of my life.
Even though there might be happy and sad ones but they are all parts and parcels of my life.
Who doesn't feel down at times right?

It is all these ups and downs that we learned from, build up, get tougher, gain more experiences from etc..
so as to handle more complicated feelings and challenging problems in the future.
This is the life that all of us have to grow up with.
It only differs whether one learns and adapts to it fast or slow..

To live a happier life..
Sometimes, certain issues, it is better to close one eye, try to control your own temper, be more understanding etc..
so as to prevent having unnecessary problems and unhappiness to your life.

Thus, most importantly, care and cherish the ones you love but not forgetting to trust and respect them as well=))
Before it is all too late and you start regretting..

This is our life.

]-[, I'm really glad things are getting back to normal or even better than last time. We will continue to make it even better, I believe and I can feel it=)) Loves^^

2009-09-21T22:25:00.002+08:00

The only thing that I am scare of.. is losing you as a friend..
You have no idea how much I cherish you as a friend now..

I'm confused with myself, with everything..

No words can describe what I am feeling now..

After all, you just don't trust me..

I have just lost a friend that I cherish so much=(

2009-09-14T23:06:00.001+08:00

I come to understand that I shall just stop blogging.
It will just make me feel worst for now..

SOH HUIYU, STOP BEING AN IDIOT!!!

I will be the happy me from now on... Don't worry!

my sis will be the happiest to hear me saying this=)

I CAN DO IT! WEEEE! ^_^

2009-09-14T14:20:00.001+08:00

I pray hard that everything will go well for him..

please protect him..

2009-09-14T04:39:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry is all I can say now..
I totally regretted what happened today..
Sorry for not telling you the truth..

Please take care like you promised, I don't want anything to happen to you.

2009-09-13T20:33:00.000+08:00

I was reading through my past entries with those little secret messages I write to you..

I can't help but feel sad once again..

I really missed those times..

But now, I could only buried those pleasant memories deep in my heart..

2009-09-13T18:23:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry I could not meet you guys with my current mood now.
I'm scare I would drag everyone's mood down with me..

I know staying at home might just make myself think more and feel even worst.
but I know myself that I would not feel any better if I am out..

I would just be the very fake me and I would not enjoy at all.
I don't want to spread my saddness to anyone..

I rather stay at home and emo myself..

I guess they must be enjoying themselves now..

2009-09-13T14:40:00.001+08:00

Last time,
when I was feeling upset, breaking down...
you didn't even care by making the effort to come down
and look for me or do anything to make me feel better.

I don't understand why.
for her, you can do so much.

and now, you are accusing me of things that I have not done before..
all you can think of me now is everything bad.

I'm feeling really terrible now..

2009-09-13T01:28:00.004+08:00

I don't know why.

but i broke down crying.

I ain't that strong like I thought I would be.

I thought I could just let go and stop thinking abt it.

but I just couldn't..

=(

2009-09-12T21:26:00.002+08:00

Why ask when you don't even care?

I have already put my heart to some where safe.
Lock it with a key to prevent you from hurting it further..

I am trying hard, really hard to let go.
But when I get to see some things,
I just can't stop myself from thinking again and feeling really really sad over it..

I have no idea if what I'm doing now is hurting myself even more.
I can stare at you at one corner without anyone noticing, crying badly in my heart.
You are so near to me, yet so so far away..

But seeing you smiling happily on the phone, just make me think that it is all worth it..
Although I might not be the one to make you smile anymore,
but at least I know that you are happy now..

If my leave, will make you happier,
I will leave without turning back..
I will not let you see my tears ever again..

2009-09-12T13:37:00.003+08:00

Girl, it is not your fault at all.
Actually I don't blame you, seriously.
So there is no need to apologize, no need to feel bad..

If you really do like/love him, fight for your own happiness.
Only you can bring him happiness now which I no longer can.
So don't let go of your own happiness as well..

There is no need to care for my feelings, really.
I will be fine soon, I guess.
Even if you do return him to me, his heart will no longer be with me.
It is far away from me since then..

It was my own fault that I didn't cherish him in the beginning.
When I come to realise how much he is to me, it is way too late.

It was my own decision to try my best to hold on now when I know that it is impossible.
Knowing that it is impossible, I still continued to do my best, hoping that a miracle might just happen.
But each time I tried harder, I felt worst..

So I shall be the one to leave and let go instead..
Cause I am really tired of crying, tired of waiting,
tired of holding on to something that does not belong to me anymore..

All the best to you & him.
& I mean it.

----------

It's time to change yourself. Stop being so stubborn, speaking without actions and being so insensitive. It is not going to win her heart and you will just make her feel insecure and lose confidence in you. If you really do care & love her, show it and not just by using words. Action always speak louder than words. If not, it will just seem so fake. & If you can't handle relationship and friendship well, then don't try to woo girls and after that hurt their feelings. I have been through it and totally know how it exactly feels. If you really do love her, put in all your heart to treat her well and spend more time with her. If you can't even do such simple actions to the one you love, then forget it. Because it will just mean to me that you don't exactly love her and just want to play around. In that case, just go back to your friends which you always give priority to. Stop hurting anyone.

I don't wish to see anyone ending up like me..

2009-09-12T01:38:00.003+08:00

I had enough...

因为太爱你所以选择放手。。
我很不舍得，但是我没有其他的选择。。
这是你要的。。

Take care, I love you...

2009-09-11T12:20:00.002+08:00

If it was her who ask you to go out or accompany her, I'm sure you would not have taken so long to decide right? =(

2009-09-10T23:57:00.003+08:00

I keep asking myself & wonder..
Why am I still holding on? WHY?
But I have no answer to myself..
I just can't seem to let go so easily..
I did tried but I failed & I felt terrible=(
It's like trying to hold on to something that does not belong to me anymore...=(
Maybe cos you just mean so much to me..

I'm in a really bad mood today.. ARGHHH!
I think everyone has a limit point which will just erupt at any time.
So many things that are making me so frustrated now!
I don't know how long more I can stand strong anymore.
It's super tiring and I have no mood for anything.
Lots and lots of thoughts running through my mind at the same time.
How I wish everything can just suddenly end and I no longer need to think so much.
I'm sick of thinking so much and tired of moving on..
Feeling damn damn F*** UP now.
But no one will understand how I feel..
Some might even think that I am making a big fuss over 'small' things which they would never know how much they actually mean to me..

If it is so easy to let go and look for another one so quickly, it just means that you have not even fall deep enough in the relationship at all.. If that is so, why did it even has to begin, going through so much together and lasting for this long?

Everything just suddenly seem so fake now.. =(

If I really leave now, will you miss me?

2009-09-09T00:19:00.001+08:00

Actually what really hurts is not seeing you replying messages to her or sending messages to her right in front of me..

But it's not being able to receive any reply from you for my messages to you or just receiving really short reply from you..

Because the time of waiting for a reply is torturous..

Especially when the time is passing like SOOO slowly now..

I must say that I am very jealous of her=(

2009-09-08T20:48:00.003+08:00

ARGGGHHHHH!!!

How I wish that this is just a really bad nightmare and I want to wake up now!!!

I think I have just made it worst today..
COS OF HER! FUCK OFF, YOU BITCH!

as long as I know that you are out with her, I just couldn't settle down..
I'm worried that I will lose you completely..

2009-09-06T22:43:00.000+08:00

Although I know that I might be acting like an idiot now..
& I know that it is impossible but this is my way of letting go slowly..
I feel better this way.. i think..

At least, I know that at that moment you are by my side=)
Honey, I still love you & it's not so easy to let go like you think..

2009-09-05T22:08:00.003+08:00

有人告诉我。。

爱一个不爱你的人是。。痛苦的。。
被爱的人是。。幸福的。。

你有感觉到幸福吗？

我现在应该是带给你更多的痛苦多过幸福吧？

你真的很喜欢她吗?

如果是，我会慢慢的放手。。

祝福你们。。 GND and NATNL

因为彼此相爱的人是最幸福的。。

2009-09-05T14:33:00.003+08:00

I have no idea what I am doing..
-----------
I'm confused=(
-----------
Sorry=(

2009-09-03T23:48:00.003+08:00

I hate the me now..
feeling super useless and helpless..

I can't seem to fall alslp at night..
feeling tired of crying to slp all the time..

but i just can't stop myself from thinking of you..

Have you woken up?
Have you eaten?
What are you doing now?
Are you going out today?
Where are you now?
Who are you with now?
What are you thinking of now?
Are you back home yet?
Have you fallen alslp?
Are you resting well now?
Will you even think of me?

i felt like messaging and calling but..
i controlled..

think twice.. & i'm worried that..
I might disturb you..
I might make you feel irritated..
I might make you feel angry..
again =(

I dun want to.. cos it will only make me feel worst..
but if i do lose control, please forgive me..

I thought of you all day today..
did you even think of me for just one second?

2009-09-02T23:21:00.002+08:00

I'm back blogging, I guess I could only throw all my feelings through blogging and it will make me feels better.. hopefully..

so if you happen to be back reading my 'suppose-to-be-closed' blog, please bare with me for being rather random and emo.. thanks..

----------

I feel like a clown,
having to hide my feelings
behind the 'smiling face' mask..
putting it on in the morning before I get out of bed
and taking it off in the night when I go to bed..

struggling to slp in the dark alone..

when you have decided to put it to an end,
have you thought of how it even begins and
the happy memories that we had together?

How scary can one be to have a sudden change
in attitude to some one that one has once loved so deeply..

I was hoping for an impossible miracle.. how dumb can I be?

i miss you, i really do..

2009-07-15T22:54:00.001+08:00

meeting up is more of wanting to see you rather than just to get the photos

2009-07-14T21:02:00.002+08:00

My tagboard is making me so confused..
So who is regular reader (Von) and passer??
Anyway, thanks my dear friends for your concern..

couldn't get use to it and wanted to send you messages for quite a few times today..
draft already and everytime just before pressing send..
I pressed backspace instead...

I feel dumb doing this, time and again..
But I thought I need to control..

I just wanted to tell you that..

I miss you.. alot..
=(

2009-07-13T18:18:00.002+08:00

just not my day today. woke up late. slip and fell early in the morning just below my block. missed my bus. no appetite at all during lunch time and skip lunch. no mood. work was sianz but lucky boss not in and can leave early. feeling really tired now, didn't slp well last night. having headache. haiz.

it's over... =(

2009-07-11T01:10:00.000+08:00

i waited and waited...
for just one message?
6 hours and i can't believe i pull through..
worth it or not?

2009-07-05T23:42:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO AH HUI!!!=))

--------------------II--------------------

I'm so bored..
super random.. but i was just thinking..
am i really happy now?

i have no idea and i'm feeling really confused..
confused with myself.. my own thinking/feelings..
i don't seem to know what i really want..
and i hate this kind of feeling..
totally lost..
haiz. =(
please do not regret, when it is too late..

2009-06-30T23:28:00.000+08:00

WEEEE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MUMMY!!!=))

2009-06-28T15:32:00.004+08:00

Finally i'm free to update photos taken on my bday celebrations! hee!

With Hui Keng, Lin Hui and Val dears at Vivo City!!!=))

With my DEAREST FAMILY at Great World City & home!!!^_^

With Sis, Damian, Callista, Yu Jia, Yong Sheng, Gabriel, Alister and Lin Jing at Cine KBox!!!=))

WEEE!!! and I'm done posting.. heh!

will update again soon!!!=))

2009-06-16T16:07:00.005+08:00

Weee!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!!! HAHAHA!=X

took leave ytd and today from work! WOOHOO! I will never want to work on my bday!=X heh!

have lots of photos to update but i need to get them from all my friends and colleagues before I can post them on my blog!!! thus, shall post them all together after I have gotten them!

Suddenly, I feel that I'm so old already!!! like so fast and now i'm 22nd this year! 21st celebration like just passed not too long ago.. haha! & this is for the first time that my parents are not around with me to celebrate my bday together on the actual day itself!!! they are having fun in Genting now!!!=))

But i'm really glad and appreciated that I have close friends and colleagues who remembered and celebrated my bday for me in advance and also on the actual day itself!=))

5th June'09 - Hui Keng, Lin Hui and Val celebrated a very advance bday for me at Vivo City! Thanks so much girls, for taking the time off from your busy schedule to celebrate my bday for me!!! & thanks for the present, I definitely will use them! Val, please upload the photos soon!! hee!=))

12th June'09 - My colleagues, Pam and Lav treated me lunch for my bday! heh! Thank you for remembering!=))

13th June'09 - Celebrated an advance bday with my FAMILY!!! as my parents were leaving that night to Genting, so we went Great World City's Kushin-bo for lunch!!! Yum-Yum!!! heh! Thank you papa, mummy, korkor and sis for the treat and I LOVE YOU ALL THE MOST!!!!!!! *MUUUAACCCKKKK* heh!^_^

15th to 16th June'09 - My sis, Damian, Callista, Yu Jia, Yong Sheng, Alister, Gabriel and Lin Jing celebrated my bday for me at KBOX last night till this morning! Can't believe we actually sang for like 10 hours!!! from 8pm to 6am!!! OMG!!! Thanks my sis and Damian for organizing/planning for my bday celebration! Truly appreciated!!! Love you both lots!=))

yep! & I will be meeting Kat, Ting and Viv for my belated bday lunch soon this week!!! hee!=))

also thank you for those who remembered and sent me bday messages & wishes through SMS/facebook!!! ^_^

so... for the remaining hours of my bday, I'm gonna spend the rest of my day resting and slacking at home before I get back to work tml and get 'drown' by the amount of pending work I'm going to have for taking 2 days leave after a weekend... =( hahaha!

resting in progress!!! shall upload all the photos soon!!!=))

2009-06-01T23:01:00.003+08:00

Finally! Club 21 Bazaar ended ytd!!! WOOHOO!!!
was super tiring and body aching everywhere! ohman! & i bought so many things! spent abt $400+! =X thanks for my family, cousins and friends who came down to support and 'visit' me! hahaha!

anyway, wanted to blog abt my cousins gathering on the 22nd of May!!! we met up for buffet dinner at Pariss International Restaurant at Marina Square! the food was quite nice, just that there are a bit lack of varieties... the atmosphere there was great, quite high class and the services were quite good too! but it's kinda ex though.. abt $45 per person!

Cousin outings were never boring, just that we were all kinda tired after work and school on a Friday night! haha! still, we enjoyed ourselves!!!=)) here's some of the photos we had taken that night~~

Group photo 1=))

Group photo 2=))

& the girls camwhored in the toilet!! haha!=))

random shots taken by my sis of the 9 of us! cousins rocks! ^_^

& yeah, as u can see i was kinda tired from work=X haha!

ok, i think i shall go take my rest now already!!! *yawn* =X

before someone nag at me! hahaha! honey^_^

2009-05-25T21:04:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow is the set up for Club 21 Bazaar.. and i'm down with FLU!!! arghhh!!! having fever and headache now! got to go rest already.. but just wanted to blog abt this..

Club 21 Bazaar starts on this Thursday for Club 21 Members and Friday to Sunday open to public!!! same as the previous, it's held at the Paddock, Pit Building again!!! for those interested, please click below image for more info! people do come down, take a look and support! hee!=))

busybusy! got to work from 9am to 9pm! OHMAN! tiring!!! further more with my condition now.. TSK! i guess i'm going to look super dead throughout the bazaar if my condition now continues.. really hope i can get well soon, like real soon.. super wrong time to fall sick.. =(

2009-05-18T23:11:00.004+08:00

Weee! Last Sat, went to Paramount Restaurant to have dinner with my mother's side relatives and cousins! meant to celebrate mother's day.. was kinda a late celebration as everyone was only available last sat for the dinner! =))

here's our annual family photo ^_^

heehee!=))

the silbings!!!=))

& the twins! haha! now we look even more alike now with our similar hairstyle.. heehee!=X

Last Sunday, as usual we had our breakfast in the morning at plaza and after that, me and sis will go to arcade and play time crisis and shoot bball.. && we saw this little girl standing on the bball machine.. what shocking was that.. she didnt anyhow just throw the ball towards the net.. BUT she was shooting with the bball style/action!!! the way she jumps and place her hand after she let go of the ball! OHMY! though she didnt shoot in all of the balls (most of them did), pple surrounding was more shock with her shooting style.. i mean she is like only 4 or 5 years old? potential player leh!!! hahaha!

couldn't take video with my iphone but managed to snap a photo of the little girl shooting.. hee!

SIGGGHHH!!! i'm going to be super super busy for the next 2 weeks!!! ARGGGHHH!!! here's my upcoming busy schedule awaiting for me.. *faints*

Wednesday - Dinner with Sec Clique after work

Thursday - Dance class after work

Friday - 9 of us, Cousins gathering after work!!!

Saturday - Going to Grandma's house (i think it's for Duan Wu Jie)

Sunday - 24th!^_^ finally a day which i can get to rest abit=))

Next Monday - Have to clear pending work before bazaar

Next Tuesday - Set up for Club 21 Bazaar

Next Wednesday - Club 21 Bazaar

Next Thursday - Club 21 Bazaar

Next Friday - Club 21 Bazaar

Next Saturday - Club 21 Bazaar

Next Sunday - Club 21 Bazaar and packing up after that

OH MAN!!! i think... i need my rest now... AHHHHHHH!!!

NIGHTS~

before i go, herewith replies to tags!

gabriel: haha! yeah, i think need time to get use to it! =))

yanshan!: HAHA! u should tell me earlier! i can help u collect! hahaha!=X

passer!: heh! seems like u r the only one who says it is ok! haha!

honeythanksforwaiting!jiayou&allthebestforyourtesttml!^^

2009-05-16T14:47:00.005+08:00

Finally I had time to blog photo of my haircut.. heh!

It's super short now! have to style so that it will look nice if not, I will look like some mushroom head toot!=X HAHAHA! so many friends & colleagues saw me and they got a shock.. & all ask y i suddenly cut so short!!! haha! I have no idea y i made the decision also.. but since it was free so i think it was alright la!=X the haircut was from Toni & Guy.. happen that my friend's friend which was the hairdresser needed hair models for his final assessment before he becomes a pro, thus just give it a try=) After he graduates, I would need to pay ard $70 for a haircut from him! Ex man!!!

Tadah.. here's my before and after haircut pic=))

heehee! any comments??? =))

after much thoughts, i feel that i should not hide anymore.. shall not care so much of what others might think, as long as we are happy right? H stay tune for my next post=))

2009-05-12T21:13:00.002+08:00

Weee!!! I'm super looking forward to tml's haircut appointment with Toni & Guy! =))
but sad that honey cant accompany me=(
My sis just cut her's today.. it was short but looks good and cute on her!!!=))

Hopefully mine is going to be nice too! Woohoo!^^

shall post pics after my haircut tml.. stay tune!!!=))

2009-05-11T22:54:00.003+08:00

hahahaha! random post.. but recently i'm quite crazy over pet society.. though i think most of the pple already stopped playing.. heehee! I'm still slowly earning my money everyday to build up my pet's house! & looking forward to every week's 'special' & 'new arrival' items! WEEE! & here's pics of my pet's house! HOHO! crazy me!=X

Living Room!!

Dinning Room!!

Kitchen!!

Toilet!!

& my bedroom to be but still trying to build up cos not enough money, thus decided to just display the rest of the items I have here first.. hahaha!

but.. i seriously think they should have more games to earn money!!! visiting, racing & banging trees are getting sooooo boring!!!=X HAHAHA!

ok & here's replies to tags..

mybaobeisis!!!: alright la! hahahaa!=X

maylyn!: i'm ok already! thanks for your concern! heehee!=))

honey!sorryiforgottowishuhappybirthdayonmyblog=XHAPPYBELATEDBIRTHDAY!!!muacks!^^